It took me a few hours, but I’ve finally completed my papercraft Newsbot. I’m calling him Bojanklesbot because he’s held together rather jankily with packing tape (like everything else in my apartment) and he looks like the kind of robot who might be voted off the island kinda early, if you know what I mean. Anyway, it’s a really cool project spearheaded by my pal Shane, illustrator extraordinaire for The CA. The advent calendar from…
My mother keeps approximately eighteen unused Christmas wreaths in the attic at all times, and over the weekend when I was up there getting decorations down for her, she told me to take one — no, two! no, three! no, twelve! — home with me. So I did. Take one, that is. I picked a plain one that just came with a big red bow, which I unceremoniously ripped off because it didn’t quite match…
The family re-enacted Thursday’s dinner for me today. It was carb-tastically awesome, of course. And then my mom demanded that we go into the living room and take a family picture. So we mustered up all the maturity we could. And now we’re pulling boxes and boxes of Christmas decorations out of the attic. It looks to be a very long night.
My mom called me the other night, crying. I thought something was wrong. Turns out she had just seen this Mother’s Day tribute on my Flickr for the first time, and it moved her to tears. She got all choked up while leaving me a voicemail, and again when I called her right back. “Well, I just have to know. Were you drunk?” she joked. I assured her that no, I hadn’t been. Or well,…
A Thanksgiving Story from Lindsey Turner on Vimeo. Happy Thanksgiving, y’all.
I find cracking open a pumpkin and scooping out its guts to be soothing and meditative on the level of peeling pomegranates. It’s not always been this way; when I was little, I’d balk at the concept of gutting my own pumpkin and make mom do it. But now? If I want that pumpkin to have a face, I have to get it done myself, guts and all. The process has become so familiar now…
Oh. My. God. I am exhausted. The women of my family are seated in the den, watching some redneck comedians on Comedy Central. The men of my family are sprawled out in my parents’ bedroom, watching the exact same thing. I didn’t realize that gender apartheid happened in my family. Every now and then I hear enormous guffaws waft down the stairwell. What’s annoying is that I can hear the joke in the next room,…
Days like today remind me why it’s so hard for me to leave the house sometimes. I had to make rounds and pick up gifts for Phil’s mom, sister and brother, which landed my in Pier One, Hobby Lobby and Target. Good lord. Scores of shoppers with that glazed look of disbelief and confusion everywhere. Cars aggressively vying for parking spots. Annoying children putting their grimy hands on everything they can possibly reach. Oddly enough,…
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