Last night I sat on a comfy red couch with my pals Amy and Amanda and talked about all the hilarious things that had been yelled to us by people on the street during our times in cities. Amy shared stories about the leering/catcalling street folk Downtown, and Amanda told us about the time the ubiquitous aggressive white lady (you can see her from Downtown to East Memphis, if you pay attention) tried to get…
This morning I find myself awake freakishly early (7 for me is like 3 a.m. to most normal people especially when I’ve been out late the night before; it’s just insane), the limits of my itch tolerance being pushed by the 49 mosquito bites I procured over the weekend. I am not exaggerating; I just counted. Sloppily; concentrating on each bite long enough was painful because bites start to itch once they remember that they…
I have been looking for a new dentist for a year or two now. Looks like he found me first. I absolutely cannot wait until he releases his next video: “Brush Yo Donkey Teeth.” Full story here.
Everyone’s talking about the heat. How can we not? It’s 95 degrees out and feels like 102. Last night I drove home to Midtown from Cordova with my windows down. It was midnight and it felt like I was sitting in bathwater. Even the breeze was hot, like breath. Right now I’m sitting here trying to psych myself up so I can leave the apartment and walk to my car. My car is black. It’s…
Clerk [as I place a bag of cat food and a half gallon of skim milk (the official purchase of cat ladies everywhere) on the counter]: You look like the actress Karen Allen! I saw her on TMZ the other day. Me: Oh, really? Thanks! [stops to think of who Karen Allen is and comes up with the squeaking sounds of a vacant cranial mouse wheel] Uh, is that good or bad? I’m not sure…
I notice that BetteDavisLies over at Complacencies of the Peignoir has a post up about strange encounters of late. (If you’re not already reading this blog, may I politely insist that you do so immediately? It’s good stuff.) I have an incomplete and unoriginal theory about the strangeness that periodically seeps through the linen-wrapped Southern spring and summer days: It’s all about the heat. We all go a little more nuts the higher the mercury…
I’m convinced that the neighborhood Rite Aid is a magical place after 11:30 p.m. It is guaranteed that if I go there as midnight approaches, something wacky is going to happen. If these strange encounters keep up, I’m going to have to start up ithappenedatriteaid.blogspot.com (don’t any of you bastards steal my idea!). Anyway, last night’s trip for shampoo and gum and face wash was no exception to the wacky late-night Rite Aid rule. I…
Just a little bit ago, I was pulled up to a stop sign, getting ready to take a left onto Nelson from Cox, when I see this red Echo that’s heading east on Nelson screech to a halt right in front of the intersection. I think at first that maybe I’m pulled out too far and the driver thought he was going to hit me, but I look and, no, I’m not out in the…
So, I said I was ready for spring. And I am. But this snow … it’s awesome. I don’t want it to melt. In fact, I’m afraid to go to sleep because when I wake up tomorrow it might be gone. And then we’ll go back to the same bony black trees and dead grass and, gah, if it can’t be white then why can’t it be green already? [More photos here.] *I’m stealing Chris…
What a surreal week it’s been. Monday night I was hanging out with Ashley and Luke, watching Wheel of Fortune, when the news kept busting in to tell us of a mass killing that had happened on Lester Street — four adults and two kids were dead in a single house, and three kids were in critical condition at Le Bonheur. It was pretty awful stuff, even without knowing all the details. Tuesday I came…
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