So, internet, I’m up late (not really, it’s only 12:30, but I’m tired), unable to find anything of quality on television. It smells like cat shit in here and I have had a sour stomach all day and haven’t had much of an appetite until now (after crunching down on a nearly two-inch-long chicken bone in my three-day old chicken salad sandwich, I lost my appetite for a while). I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I’ve felt asstastic since I woke up this morning (so it’s not solely bad mayo or chicken bones). For some reason, I broke down a few minutes ago and ordered some lasagna from Camy’s. I’m sure that will settle fabulously on my queasy gut. Especially if I have to sit here and smell fresh cat poop and watch Flavor of Love 3 (sorry, Sarah, but I just can’t get on board anymore!) while I eat it.
I’m not really even sure why I’m on the computer, except that I always end up on the computer after idling at home for a while. It’s a sickness. I sit there and read or see something on TV that reminds me of something else, and before I can blink and utter “tubes,” I realize I’m on Google or Wikipedia or IMDb or some other info-saturated site.
I had decided it’s time I change my book listing in the sidebar and link to the CA’s new (and in-the-middle-of-development) book blog that I’ll be contributing to, when I was suddenly reminded of Chuck Klosterman’s infamous 23 questions from Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs, and started Googling away so I could find them.
Hey, my food’s here. Time for a food interlude.
[nom nom nom]
Okay, that was actually pretty good. And I got to watch Harvey Birdman while eating, so that was cool. But now I have the hiccups and I still feel barfy. Ugh. I feel like there are worms in my gut. That is really gross. Maybe I just need to make myself puke. Mmmm, undigested lasagna.
Anyway. Klosterman’s 23 questions. I had thought I might try to answer them just this side of thoughtlessly, since I’m kinda bored and putting off going to bed. Yeah, let’s do that now. Maybe it will make me sleepy.
1. Yes.
2. No. Unless the horse had done something evil. I would, however, kick a horse in the family jewels, just like this fellow felt compelled to do. Repeatedly.
3. Turtle.
4. No.
5. Yes.
6. Yes. Reluctantly.
7. Sasquatch and Loch Ness can be packaged together and played as the big story; the president pre-biopsy doesn’t trump that. I’m not even sure the president post-biopsy would. But the New Yorks Times is designed in such a way that there’s not just one big story. All three stories could get significant play. I’m a nerd for spending more words on this answer than any other.
8. No.
9. Yes.
10. The Heart riff.
11. Exit, and call my mom. Don’t fuck with gut feelings.
12. $10
13. Sasquatch and the Loch Ness monster.
14. Most cats would find it insulting, because most cats are jerks, but I think more likely is that most cats wouldn’t bother with reading Garfield at all.
15. Probably exactly the same as I would now. Work, watch movies, read. Maybe spend more time with friends and family. Nothing fancy.
16. No.
17. I distrust them equally, which is to say, I’d probably leave the bar and go home.
18. Year in Europe.
19. Deny that I did it and try to convince her that she dreamed it, and is experiencing psychosomatic rib pain.
20. The indie film, duh, because I’m a true narcissist.
21. I’d keep it exactly the same; I have no regrets about how that went down.
22. The one everyone believes is true but isn’t.
23. Mostly indifferent, I think.
Well, that was pointless.
Thank you and good night!!!
Are you perchance looking for a couplefriend? The only reason that I ask is that my wife is looking for a single girlfriend. As it turns out, I think that I might actually like you. I mean, you’re spunky, down on your luck, sarcastic, and easy on the eyes. So, in the market for a new friend? She knows Henry Turley, if that helps.
“Are you perchance looking for a couplefriend?” Hmmm, quite a wonderfully appropriate & sensitive comment there. lol
Paul, you made me lol. And yeah, I pronounce it “loll” so it rhymes with “Paul.” It’s funnier that way.
Anyhoo, there is no way I could turn down a new couplefriend after that round of flattery. And Henry Turley? Come on, you had me at “down on your luck.”
Also, couplefriend is the best word ever. Er, after brothercousin.