I had a quintessential Fran Moment today. It was almost a carbon re-enactment of the seminal Fran Moment, which happened several years ago at the (now closed) Shell station just off the bridge in Savannah.
I was at the Circle K, gassing up the Purple Pump Guzzler (seriously, cost me upwards of $40 to fill up — a first for me — and it’s getting a paltry 19 miles to the gallon), when I went in for coffee (I think I might actually be birthing an addiction to coffee, but only in the very early hours, and when it can have lots of sugar and cream and, if I’m lucky, chocolate flavoring) and a sausage biscuit. I paid, came back out, got back in the car, started it, shifted into drive, and went probably a third of a foot before I remembered that the gas nozzle was still in the car. My face flushed red, I looked around to see if anyone had noticed, turned the car off, got out, restored the nozzle to the pump, cringed at the pump’s message to me — “Printer error. Please see cashier.” — because it meant I’d have to go inside and face the people who probably were watching me, thinking, That crazy bitch better not drive off with that gas hose! So I said screw it, got back in the car, and tried to drive away with as much dignity as I could feign.
This is a quintessential Fran Moment because my mother, one fateful day many years ago, drove away with a gas hose still stuck in her Impala (the big pimpmoble kind they used to make). Luckily, those hoses are idiot-proof, and are designed to break away fairly easily if tugged on pretty hard. I think mom told me that it took her several years to get up the courage to go back to that Shell station. I can certainly understand.
My mom would probably kill me if she knew I was telling all her funny/embarrassing stories to the internet. But I think she’d also get a kick out of it.
Update: I texted this story to my mom, and she texted back that last night she drove away from a gas station with the gas cap banging away on the side of the car. Ha! Our DNA is practically identical.
You must’ve told me this story before because as soon as I started reading I remembered your Mom breaking off a gas hose. I think you told me that in high school, actually! Does that sound accurate?