And so begins many months of being the sober one at parties. It’s actually not so bad. It keeps me out of trouble and I am permanently hangover-free, which is honestly one of the best feelings ever. Of course, my social anxiety does cartwheels around the room when I can’t get a couple of drinks in me, but I’m just going to have to get over that.
Things you can do while sober at a party: Sniff fancy tequila, Skype with a friend halfway across the world (and taunt him with Papa John’s pizza), drink lots of water, have ice cream cake shoved ceremoniously into your mouth by generous friends, whom I’ve missed bunches.