Without any prompting, ask your child these questions and write down EXACTLY what they say.
Holden, 7 years old:
1. What is something mom always says to you? Bonk.
2. What makes mom happy? Flushing the toilet and wiping my butt and washing my hands.
3. What makes mom sad? When I call you stupid.
4. How does your mom make you laugh? You fart.
5. What was your mom like as a child? I think you were like me.
6. How old is your mom? 38.
7. How tall is your mom? Really tall.
8. What is her favorite thing to do? Say “bonk.”
9. What does your mom do when you’re not around? Sometimes play The Sims.
10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? Playing rock ‘n’ roll.
11. What is your mom really good at? You’re really good at playing The Sims.
12. What is your mom not very good at? Not really good at seeing when you don’t have your glasses on.
13. What does your mom do for a job? Say the F word.
14. What is your mom’s favorite food? I don’t know.
15. What makes you proud of your mom? When she hugs me?
16. If your mom were a character, who would she be? I think she would be a princess *mischievous cackle* even though she doesn’t like princesses.
17. What do you and your mom do together? Play The Sims.
18. How are you and your mom the same? We have the same skin.
19. How are you and your mom different? I don’t have long hair and she does.
20. How do you know your mom loves you? When she says “I love you.”
21. What does your mom like most about your step-dad? That he’s your wife. I mean husband.
22. Where is your mom’s favorite place to go? To the arcade.
23. How old was your Mom when you were born? 30.
Past answers: 2018
I literally belly laughed so loud that it scared Sal and he fell off the couch. At 4 lbs, that’s serious.
Seriously though, these are GREAT.
The F word as a job…that is EPIC