Yesterday I learned that if you don’t have your yard mowed for a month — a month full of plenty of rain and sunshine — your grass will grow tall and proud and dense.
And do you know what loves to live in tall, proud, dense grass? Families of bunnies, that’s what.
So when you finally have someone come cut your tall, proud, dense grass, they might accidentally discover and obliterate a family of bunnies with their lawn mower.
So cut your damn grass every week, you lazy bastards. And tip your lawn guy extra if your negligence causes him to commit bunny manslaughter.
The only thing worse is if someone, say, your brother, hits the bunnies but somehow, they don’t all die instantly, and you have to go out in the yard and snap their necks with a shovel because you can’t bear to let them die slowly.
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