Toby remembers that his hair has been in a ponytail for the past several hours.
Yesterday I drank a big honkin’ mug of coffee on an empty stomach and rode the high for three hours and then crashed like a Wright brother. Then I got real pissy and annoyed with everything and felt gross and fat and blah blah PMS hooey. It was not a pleasant roller coaster. So when I left work and stepped straight into a giant puddle and then felt the icy dagger of a raindrop pierce my left eyeball, I was all FUCK THIS NOISE, I’M GOING HOME!!! at which point I planned to incubate under a fleece blanket while poutily drinking Woodchuck ciders. But Tobes was persistent in his attempts to de-grumpify me, and aided by Overton County moonshine and sugary canned alcoholic energy beverages, the grumps more or less subsided and I felt much better, although I still did not like the way my ass looked in my jeans. But, well, what can you do?
“Make me your daily picture!” he said, practically leaping and cartwheeling with glee. So I did. And now he’ll never be an alderman.
MWA HA HA.
I’ve found that two extended relief Midols and a double Jack and coke will solve my PMS issues. And just might save a life. Highly recommend.