Laundry Day. A poorly planned one, at that, since my quarter count came up two short of what I’d need to wash and dry two full loads. But some creative searching in pants pockets and jewelry boxes and I had discovered not two but three quarters (one of which has a perfectly circular love-bead-sized hole in it; I’ve been hanging on to that thing for as long as I can remember and have been known on occasion to put a chain through it and wear it as a necklace). Hooray for scattershot savings!
Washing came and went uneventfully, but as I was tossing my dark denims into the dryer, I saw something white and tube-shaped sitting quietly in the darkness. Naturally, I assumed it was a tampon and readied myself to get all grossed out, but as I pulled it out, I realized it was just some piece of folded up paper that had been washed and dried and left behind. I’m nosy a journalist so I unfolded it carefully and was delighted to see that the scribbles were still legible. It was a calendar. And whoever this calendar belongs to is probably going to have the best freaking month ever.
(Also, this person seems to like Lemonheads, because one that was stuck to the top of the dryer unstuck and fell into my laundry as I was reading the calendar. Had I not stopped to snoop, just think of how wonderfully surprised I would have been to find a melted Lemonhead all over my jeans.)
I have no idea what month it supposedly represents, but the first day of the calendar falls on a Sunday. February, then?
Feb. 1: My birthday
Feb. 5: Sleep all day
Feb. 7: [illegible] Day
Feb. 8-14: Vacation in Hawaii
Feb. 18: Inside Out Day
Feb. 23: No Chores Day
Feb. 25: Bring My Cat to Work Day
Feb. 28: Volunteer Day
Feb. 31: Celebration Day (ed: possibly to celebrate the miraculous occurrence of a thirty-first day of February?)
Okay, so maybe this calendar is for March. Whatever. I’m not going back and retyping all that. It’s still going to be the best month ever for this person. I mean, Bring Your Cat to Work Day? That is nothing but pure awesome. Hawaii’s pretty cool too, you know, if you like paradise and shit.