Weirdness

• I watched the Superbowl last night, probably for the first time (intentionally) ever. It was boring as shit until the last quarter, when I actually found myself emoting over football, and getting happy when Eli Manning did his little anti-sack dance and threw that awesome pass that turned the game around. Could have been the bottle of bubbly, could have been all the food, could have been the company I kept, but whatever it was, it was neat.

• Everyone always makes such a big to-do about Superbowl commercials, but last night’s were remarkably lame. Naomi Campbell dancing to “Thriller” with CGI lizards? Talking babies? What is this, 1998? The best commercial — hands down — was the talking stain. Yes, a talking stain. It was funny because that’s exactly how it feels to have a stain on your shirt. I also laughed at the man in the rat suit. Don’t judge me.

• I worked out today until my face went numb. There is only one other thing on the planet that makes my face go numb and it and working out aren’t even in the same league. Odd.

• My apartment building has shifted and settled or something. Our outside door is nearly impossible to open and close, and suddenly neither of my bedroom doors will latch, which means I have to barricade myself in there every night — stacking laundry baskets and clothing and cat houses in front of them — so the cats don’t breach the fortress and pounce on my eyelids all night while I try to sleep.