Me: my mom is wanting me to have a baby shower in my hometown, and she wants to invite some childhood friends i haven’t seen in 10+ years Nick: nice that’ll be fun for you here’s a plan invite them all of them shove a water balloon up between your legs bust it right when you walk in be all like. oh no my water broke leave your good Me: yes, i’m sure that will…
Nick: i’m off work today me: awesome big plans? Nick: might catch a movie me: “babies”? it’s not a porno sorry Nick: i think we’re gonna go see robin hood this is what happens when people who don’t share similar interests try to go to a movie me: it’s going to be terrible have fun Nick: i know it might not it’ll mostly be forumula me: isn’t it getting terrible reviews? Nick: i dont know…
Nick: i took a nap now i’m up tallking to the mom her dentist yanked her widsom teeth along time ago apparntly that sounds unpleasant me: eeesh, yeah Nick: gonna try eating ice cream again last time it came up in a bloody vomit mess me: is that true? ahahah i mean, sorry Nick: it was right after i got home and i was supposed to take a lortab and the note said to take…
Me: will you be my life coach in 2010? i need to turn this ship around. Nick: you and me we’re like cavier, it takes a refined pallette and a sense of self importance to choke us down and pretend we taste good hmmm thats not a good metaphor
Amber: We need a bucket and laundry soap. me: yeah Amber: Biodegradable laundry soap. So we can drink it and get fuuuuuuuucked uuuuuuup. me: woooooooooooooooooo *urp* Amber: lols me: i guess my biggest concern is the bathing situation. i get grumpy when i’m dirty and especially when my hair gets greasy. Amber: They have showers. Dorm showers. me: it’s a big fountain, ain’t it? oh really?! weird Amber: And I have dry shampoo And razors…
Nick: i’m working on my craigslist add *ad me: for NSA sexy time? Nick: for my drinking partner to replace morgan me: oh right i want to read it! Nick: http://chattanooga.craigslist.org/stp/1123115465.html me: hahahahaha that’s fantastic Nick: let’s see if anyone bite s me: god, they better Nick: probably just fat girls me: well you need to learn to appreciate fat chicks because they are generally very funny Nick: yeah i’ll settle for a fat girl…
Talked about Revolutionary Road with some other bibliophiles online tonight. Even took a shower beforehand, which clearly demonstrates that I still don’t “get” the internet. If you haven’t read this book, you really should. It’s superbly written and pretty much helped invent all those notions of the desperation of 1950s suburbia and suburban conformity that we take for granted nowadays. Author Richard Yates: “If my work has a theme, I suspect it is a simple…
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