Internet, it is 2:14 a.m. and I am looking at this issue of InStyle like I would look at some dude I’d been, uh, hanging out with for a little while but who still insisted on burping every other second and pinching my ass when I squeezed past him to get the beer he demanded I go fetch because the game was on and he couldn’t bear to remove his hands from the wasteband waistband…
I really meant to link to this last week but I have that, you know, brain thing. Shane‘s awesome papercraft skills + Curt and Chris‘ awesome comic skills + my photos = BEHOLD! Basically the funniest/cutest thing you ever did see.
Internet, I feel like I have voluntarily cast myself into the desert and am not even halfway across the first dune. The thing is, the desert looked completely walkable at first glance, but now I realize that every step takes extra effort because I’m WALKING ON FREAKING STUPID SAND. I am, of course, being overly metaphorical here in my attempt to describe what it’s like to realize that I am only 80 pages in to…
Nick: i took a nap now i’m up tallking to the mom her dentist yanked her widsom teeth along time ago apparntly that sounds unpleasant me: eeesh, yeah Nick: gonna try eating ice cream again last time it came up in a bloody vomit mess me: is that true? ahahah i mean, sorry Nick: it was right after i got home and i was supposed to take a lortab and the note said to take…
All right, you beautiful bastiches, let’s get this crazy train rolling again. I’ve had six hours of sleep and I am ready to muffpunch the universe. I mean read this magazine. Where were we? Oh yes, page 50. OH FUCK, THERE ARE WEREWOLVES. Hang on while I make a pot of incredibly strong coffee to help me cope. … Okay, that’s better. Sheesus, magazine, werewolves? Because vampires are so played out? Teen Wolf, Taylor Lautner,…
One of the fun things about moving is the slow and steady trickle of the former tenant’s mail that you get to receive for a few months (or, if you’re super fortunate, years). When I moved into this house, I suddenly became the recipient of fashion catalogs from stores I literally had never even heard of, all of which were peddling stretchy, layery black things for exorbitant amounts of money. My house’s previous occupant was…
Getting drunk and photographing bar bathrooms can PAY OFF! For even more fun than should be allowed in public bathrooms, read the comments of this post, where people offered suggested titles. I think I like this one the best. Geometry jokes, hyuk. (I’m a little disappointed that they didn’t pick this photo, but I can’t get everything I want, now can I?)
For all y’all Dane Cook haters: I miss being in Murfreesboro and watching this show while stuck to my couch.
I submitted this to TFLN, but who knows if they’ll take it. (901): Wur u at Son Cum b4 All (901-1): En Ingles? Thankyouverymuchgoodnight! I don’t think I know who sent this. Do I? Which one of you would dare text the c-word to me?!
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