Ray bought Holden this cute little guitar that plays a few tunes, and it has three real strings and a whammy bar that make cool sounds. It plays four awesome songs — “Love Shack,” “Wild Thing,” “Message in a Bottle,” and “Crazy Little Thing Called Love.” It also plays “All Star.” By Smash Mouth. Guess which song is the most powerful earworm of the bunch.
Holden: You are pure energy! This month was all about exploration and expression. You are scooting and crawling and cruising all over the house, including up the stairs. Your curiosity is growing and you don’t like being steered away from something that has piqued your interest. You even walked a little bit for a few days! I realize that is probably no big whoop to parents of your contemporaries, who have had walkers for months…
ARIES Your upper lip will find itself in a fight with a puffs tin, and you will be suckerpunched by gravity and surprised by the floor when it rises to greet your face. The good news: The other babies will not f*ck with you because you will look like a boxer. Lucky numbers: None TAURUS Jupiter is in retrograde, even though Mommy said it was way up there in the sky. How could Mommy lie…
Sugar Booger: What a wild and crazy couple of months we had! Christmas descended upon us like a load of bricks, but I think you took it in stride. We went to the Opryland Hotel to see the lights and walk around a bit, and you thought that was a pretty good time, especially when Daddy held your hand and let you take the lead for a while. You didn’t care that there was a…
Mr. Scooter Booter Butt: Here is one thing I have learned about myself as a mother: I have absolutely no rock bottom when it comes to ridiculous nicknames for you. I’m sorry but I’m not sorry at all. And you should be warned that it’s probably only going to get more disgusting as you get older and start doing more new stuff and I start making dumb rhymes and puns and … I feel for…
My Buds: We made it! We survived that mythical and all-important first year! And I think we did a bang-up job. Look how far you’ve come: Can you believe it? It is surreal to think that a year ago, you came into this world and I got my first good look at you, and you were so new and unfamiliar to me. I had to learn how you looked; you were a wonderful combination of…
Mr. Pooper: I don’t actually call you “Mr. Pooper.” I just like the idea of being able to say I was “hanging with Mr. Pooper.” Heh. You won’t get that reference but maybe if Google is still around, you can Google it. So somewhere around month nine or ten, you went from being this laid-back, never-fusses-ever baby to being a little boy with big, vocal wants. That has been an interesting transition for mama and…
Baby Bear: The clock is spinning out of control and I’m trying to catch up. I apologize for my lapse in posting about your milestones but I am not exaggerating when I say that this is the craziest life has ever been and there just seems to be a lack of time every single day of the week. I am so, so happy your daddy and you are finally here in Nashville with me. Those…
Mr. Banana-Grabber: I wonder if you can guess how you earned your new nickname. Got it yet? You discovered your wee wee a couple of months ago, actually, but as your relationship with it has matured, your treatment of it has gotten rougher. Your daddy and I are constantly encouraging you to be nice to the family jewels because when it’s bath time and you’ve finally got access to them, you tend to try to…
Ol’ Yeller: My sincere apologies on the extreme lateness of this post. We have been incredibly busy and there’s just not been a lot of time to write. But that’s because we have been having so much fun! This month you found your voice. I mean, really found it. You learned that you like to shriek and holler, and you are no stranger to very loud grunting when you’ve got, uh, business to take care…
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