[Twos, fours, and one-eyed whores]
Groan. I woke up this morning puking, my stomach in knots. For a lady, that shit is scary. I think it was just something I ate. It better have been. I’m still not fully recovered, and it’s 1:30. The thought of food makes me … ew.

I spent the evening playing Texas Hold ‘Em with my family. I had forgotten how much fun poker was. We used to play strip poker (but we wore so much jewelry that no one had to take any clothes off) during our lunch breaks in middle school. And in gifted class we’d hide behind the desks and play penny ante poker. Learning is for chumps.

One of Evan’s friends came over with a caddy full of poker chips, and they coaxed me, my mom, my grandmother, and my dad into playing. I won a few times, mostly on bluffs, but Evan’s friend had the best luck of the night. He bet all his money without even looking at his cards and ended up kicking everybody’s ass with four nines.