why am I telling you this?

I’m sure this doesn’t mean anything

I settled into the jacuzzi and quickly ran out of hot water. I turned the jets on and realized that they were far too loud to run at 3 a.m., in case our downstairs neighbors might actually want to sleep.

So I laid there in still, lukewarm water for fifteen minutes.

Turns out I can only hold my breath underwater for fifty seconds before I start to panic.