I mentally guffawed through this entire Pajiba review of Black Snake Moan — which I still have not seen and probably will not see until Netflix mails it to me some time this summer, when things really are hotter down South — and absolutely lost it during this part near the top: If I had known that all it took to get a movie financed and distributed was to hire an alabaster starlet with body…
Project Detox ends officially (and possibly only temporarily) tomorrow evening. I haven’t had a sip of wine since Monday night, and I actually feel really great. It’s cool to wake up and not feel dumber than you were yesterday. You boozehounds know what I’m talking about. Project 365
Check out how he sniffs out just the perfect spot to sink his teeth into. This is how he flushes out the ferociousness from his system. A couple of bites on my arm a week, and he’s good and sweet.
Especially if you’re cruising in the middle lane of busy, busy Poplar, and you decide to signal politely to get over in the left lane so you cruise past the slowpokes, and as you’re merging over, you feel something brush your neck — OMIGOD IT’S A HUGE MUTANT SPIDER-SNAKE CRAWLING UP MY NECK AND TOWARD MY EAR!!! — and you look down to see what it is and you realize it’s your hair, you moron,…
It’s like make-up work, in blog form. • I hadn’t seen Jimmy or Theresa in several months. In fact, I think the last time might have been last spring or summer. Anyway, it had been too long. Theresa and I hung out in the kitchen for way too long and girl talked. We watched old videos of the guys answering random questions posed by their friends. We laughed as Phil winced at his silly accent…
Random thing No. 4,312 that drives me absolutely batshit crazy: People touching my computer screen. What is it about those flat-panel LCD screens that make people want to touch them? Is it because they go all gooey-crazy when you put pressure on them, and you can see the little ripples of color go trailing across the screen? Is it because people secretly want to see if they can bruise someone else’s screen with a quick…
Ever have a day when you get up and get dressed and get going, but somewhere along the way, you realize that your hair looks ratty and your clothes don’t quite fit right and there’s dog shit in the grooves of the sole of one of your flip-flops and your fingernails look dirty? Those days aren’t very much helped by the fact that you’re not exactly hungover, but you feel palpably brain damaged by the…
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