I am burned out. I am sick of working nights and weekends. I never see my friends. I don’t even think they notice anymore. I am sick of a job where I just sit on my ass and stare at a computer screen and deliver page proofs to people like some kind of copy boy. I have grown tired of some people’s refusal to recognize me as having earned the creative freedoms I feel I’ve…
I trudged out into the back yard just now to hang up the bird feeder and gauge the weather (judging from the temperature inside my house, it’s a chilly 60 or so outside; this is hardly the case), and scope out the flowerbeds, which have yet to get any real attention from me, as I am waiting on my mom to come to town to tell me what to do with which bed. I just…
I am on the balcony, laptop pulsing heat onto my uncovered legs, nose stuffy from a summer stress cold, red wine (Malbec) in a Graceland mug on the window ledge behind me, three citronella candles and a mosquito coil flickering around me, yet I see the mosquitoes in silhouette against my screen, darting here and there and up and down and, occasionally, settling on a patch of skin still enough to penetrate and make me…
I am full of lust lately, the kind that propels you toward ways of living that most people consider silly and decadent and hedonistic and unsustainable. Aaaand that’s because they are. But it doesn’t matter; a person who can’t get behind hedonism is a person you shouldn’t care to know. I want things. Things that have no real-life counterpart. Things that can only ever exist in digital daydreaming. That’s okay. I want to imagine the…
I need to say these things: I bruise easily. Perhaps too easily. I occupy no moral high ground. I need to give people room to fuck up because God knows I have made plenty of room in my life for me to do so. I … I’m trying.
I don’t even know how to keep up anymore. And they say the ride just keeps spinning faster and faster the longer it goes. I had one of those moments tonight where I let some bit of the news get to me, stop me with a screech, hold my jaw tight in its hands until I paid attention and processed it and it made me feel sick. I read the pilots’ transcript from the Continental…
I love it when music finds me at the right time and I don’t have to do any work. I was getting sick of all my CDs and suddenly my friend Ay swoops in with a disc of ditties that I’ve not been able to stop listening to for two straight days. I’ve not even been able to pause it for long enough to listen to another CD she made me. I sure hope that…
I met Field Guide today. She brought ice cream to my apartment! And now — don’t tell her — I’m getting her a ferret for Christmas. I also met Howell, he of the Zooey Deschanel/Winona Ryder/girls-who-look-like- they’re-wracked-with-guilt-and-self-doubt infatuation, but his blog is private so I can’t link to it. I love it when I meet online acquaintances and they turn out to be even awesomer than I had imagined.
You must be logged in to post a comment.