My brother and sister both are making silly faces in this shot, but I like it anyway. My dad’s reading from a card my mother bought and stored and forgot about more than a decade ago and just now found in her closet (my packrattery comes honest). He got a good chuckle out of that ancient card, and was pretty excited about the fancy new grill we all chipped in on. Of course, as soon…
My mom just sent me pretty much the best e-mail in the history of e-mails from mothers: Help!!! I am in Crazyland! Now all my new emails are loading, and each one of them are loading ten times apiemce. OMG I am going to commit hyperlink-acide. Goodbye. xoxo with pc passion preferring pleasure but perennially pissed! Please forego the lectures on the superiority of Macs! lol Keep in mind that my mom’s e-mails get to…
One thing I inherited from my dad is a set of rock-hard badass calf muscles with which I can snap any man’s neck should he get out of line. Sadly, this superpower also means that many tall boots made for mere mortals won’t fit comfortably on me. These lovely Kamiks and I just weren’t meant to be, it seems. They’re just snug enough to really be annoying (and to completely prevent tucking any pants, should…
Sassy as ever, she is. [Project 365]
Some days your daily pic is nothing new, nothing exciting. Just an old hand-made pot holder that used to be your great-grandmother’s that you hang in your kitchen because it’s beautiful. [Project 365]
I’ve been struggling with sour soul lately, so I did a little bit of unplugging, including from Twitter, and what happens? Last night I get a notification that my mother is now following me. That flash you just saw? That was the illusion that I am not a foul-mouthed, drunken degenerate taking to the sky with pigs. So, Internet, welcome my mother to Twitter. She has three followers right now: Me, my sister, and “Britney…
Mother’s Day this year entailed a giant box of fried chicken (fifty pieces!) and me sipping on sugary homemade margaritas and watching cable on a big-screen TV for nine hours. I gave my mom a couple of mom-and-daughter-themed books and she was so touched that, the next day, she went and got two huge pink peonies out of the flower bed and brought them in while serenading me with “You Are So Beautiful.” She’s the…
… when your mother, who has volunteered to do your laundry, offers to give you money so you can buy yourself some sexier underwear.
ACT ONE Mom (straightening her reading glasses): This is the Sarah Palin look. Dad: Yeah, but she’s got all of her teeth. Mom: And her husband’s good looking, too! Krissie: And one of her children is mentally challenged. Which one of us would that be? Dad: Do you really want me to answer that? ACT TWO Patrick and the Mystery Drink from Lindsey Turner on Vimeo.
A few weeks ago, my dad’s heart doctor suspected that Dad had had a heart attack some time recently. So he sent him to Memphis for a battery of tests. I hoofed it out east yesterday to sit with my parents in the waiting room in between the tests. The people at the Stern Cardio clinic were ridiculously nice to us. I watched my dad come and go from the waiting room while wearing a…
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