I had a dream about the baby last night. He was big and white and bald, and sitting in someone’s lap next to me, drinking from a bottle. I instantly began worrying that he was drinking formula, and wondering why he wasn’t in my lap, breastfeeding. Where had I been? How had I allowed him to have formula when the plan was to breastfeed exclusively? And so on.
So I took him into my lap and watched as he latched on, his face all scrunched up — a total trip considering I’ve never breastfed anyone and can only imagine how the real thing is going to go down — then felt my heart sink as I realized that I had no milk to give.
Ah, the inadequacy dreams. I’ve blocked mine out, but a now-pregnant friend of mine has a recurring dream that her baby is in constantly overflowing diapers, and when she goes to change him, there’s a bottle taped to his chest.
Sweetie, sweetie, hang in there and be strong. I have done a bunch of googling on your latest revelations and seems that more than likely, everything is going to be just fine. Lightning does strike, but it’s rare. Face your fears and go through them. I’m here for ya, ya know.
Those dreams suck so bad. Upside – pregnancy also gives you happy ending dreams sometimes. Rowr.
Sorry about this one though – breastfeeding is stressful, especially when you plan on it and can’t. But even those babies who try and try and can’t figure it out turn out wonderfully. Sometimes these things we’ve been lugging around for 15 years decide not to work. Jerk boobs.
Just don’t breastfeed your kid well into adolescence. That’s just creepy.