I woke up with an unbelievably sore neck. It’s like a hundred little gnomes took turns punching me while I slept. Or like I slept with my head turned around 180 degrees. Times like these it would be useful to have a personal masseuse* boyfriend around to work it out for me.
I think my sister found my blog. Hey, sis! Welcome to my Emporium of Ceaseless Whining. It’s where my creativity — and my free time — comes to die! Make yourself at home. Have some cheese and crackers. I’ll make you a Sex on the Beach, like old times.
*I just looked up “masseuse” to make sure I was spelling it correctly, and the definition is “a woman who gives massages professionally.” Is this an outdated definition, Dictionary.com? Or is there an alternate spelling for a man who gives massages professionally? /word wonkery.
Masseur.
Oooh, that sounds even sessier!
I just want to add that I would have looked this up in my real dictionary, but it’s propping a window open the moment.
Sturdy book, that one.
That’s what Grisham is for.