Without any prompting, ask your child these questions and write down EXACTLY what they say. Holden, 9 years old: 1. What is something mom always says to you? I love you. 2. What makes mom happy? Being kind and respectful. 3. What makes mom sad? Her child getting injured. 4. How does your mom make you laugh? When she says “bonk.” 5. What was your mom like as a child? Cautious. 6. How old is your mom? 39. 7. How…
Without any prompting, ask your child these questions and write down EXACTLY what they say. Holden, 8 years old: 1. What is something mom always says to you? Sweetie bear. 2. What makes mom happy? When I do my homework really fast. 3. What makes mom sad? When I say cuss words. Or when I call her stupid. 4. How does your mom make you laugh? You give me the tickle tackle. 5. What was…
I could write a million words (and probably will) on what it’s like to parent this child, but I believe the essence of everything I could ever say is captured in this image.
Without any prompting, ask your child these questions and write down EXACTLY what they say. Holden, 7 years old: 1. What is something mom always says to you? Bonk. 2. What makes mom happy? Flushing the toilet and wiping my butt and washing my hands. 3. What makes mom sad? When I call you stupid. 4. How does your mom make you laugh? You fart. 5. What was your mom like as a child? I…
Holden, On your seventh birthday, when I picked you up from your dad’s house, as you were buckling yourself in, I said: “In celebration of your birthday, what song would you like to hear?” “Any song?” you asked. You already had me trapped and I didn’t even know it. “Any song,” I said. You wanted to hear the song on the mixed CD in my car that you heard part of once (before I realized…
Without any prompting, ask your child these questions and write down EXACTLY what they say. Holden, 6 years old: 1. What is something mom always says to you? Stop getting in Sandy’s face. 2. What makes mom happy? To listen and get out of Sandy’s face. 3. What makes mom sad? When I don’t listen to you. 4. How does your mom make you laugh? By saying I’m gonna poop in your face. 5. What…
My mother never seemed to appreciate some of my early attempts at artistic expression, like running free in a crowded parking lot, putting my face too close to things that were either on fire or boiling, licking all the candy at the freestanding candy kiosk at the mall, or shoving my hands directly into whatever food was placed in the middle of the dinner table even if I had no intention of actually eating it.…
In case you ever get bogged down in the mundane and the frustrating and forget.
Holden has taken to yelling, “Mama! Watch your tongue!” at me unprompted, many times a day. Even when I’m not saying anything inappropriate. And, as rude as he is, he’s right. The tongue is going to get me in trouble some day.
It’s such a weird thing to watch a child acquire language. When your child is in school full time, he’s picking up all sorts of stuff from teachers as well as the adorable little tykes he’s with all day, on top of the stuff he picks up from you and anyone in your house. So you are never quite sure where some of the stuff comes from. And when he busts out with something hilariously…
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