SIX WEEKS! We’re rolling right along at the size of a cantaloupe in there. A cantaloupe! One of the funny things about having a boy is that every dang week, the pregnancy calendars tell you something about what the kid’s testicles are doing. I say “testicles” because I nearly wrote “balls” and felt really, really weird about talking about my son’s situation in that way. So I will keep it clinical. What to Expect practically…
Dear baby boy, Today your dad and I woke up early and went Downtown to the Rock-n-Soul Museum, where we used a Smithsonian Museum Day coupon to get in for free. That’s a savings of $22, little man. We are so clever, aren’t we? You thumped around inside me while we watched the museum’s intro video, which pulsed the sounds of Carl Perkins and Elvis and Otis Redding into the air. The museum attendant handed…
Grooooaaaaan. Okay, I can officially say I have enjoyed being pregnant, but I am ready to not be pregnant anymore. My body is big and clumsy and unwieldy and the simple act of getting around is not unlike pushing an overloaded grocery cart with a wonky wheel. Wearing clothes is a real pain in the ass but I feel way too huge to walk around naked very much, and the sight of my stretch marks…
My first mistake was assuming that I would make it to bed by midnight Friday. Instead, I was up until 3, printing out last-minute signs and trying to make sure I had everything in order. My alarm coaxed me awake at 6 and I went about loading the car and putting some food and drinks in the cooler, only to realize that most of the ice trays were empty and therefore completely worthless to me.…
Whoa, this post is three days late! I’ve been super busy prepping for and then manning my Cooper-Young Fest booth. I’ll post about that later. First things first: The progeny is the size of a large jicama this week. I’m sorry, I am from the sticks and have never heard of such a thing. I looked it up and apparently it is a Mexican turnip. Um, so why don’t the pregnancy websites just call it…
• The optical drive won’t read discs or burn them • The fan is on constantly regardless of the computer’s temperature or how hard it’s working • The battery is bulging and the computer tells me it needs to be replaced immediately; full charge gets me 35 minutes of time unplugged • The trackpad is malfunctioning and sticking, making it more or less impossible to actually do anything on the damn thing. It thinks it…
Saturday morning at 6, I will rise out of bed like a very large, potentially grumpy phoenix and make my way to Cooper-Young to set up my booth for Cooper-Young Festival. I’ll be in C7, which is over by Cafe Ole on Cooper. I’ll be selling the same sorts of things that are available in my Etsy shop: photo prints (framed and unframed), quirky art prints, crafty things, note cards, recipe cards, posters, magnets, and…
My friend Ashley took the reins months and months ago before the bump had ballooned and told me she wanted to throw me a baby shower — something she’s always wanted to do — so I happily took her up on her offer. Over the course of the intervening months, she has worked so hard on the event. And did a fabulous job. I really can’t thank her enough for making my first baby shower…
Not a whole lot to talk about this week, really, unless I’m permitted to talk about the extreme awesomeness of the weather we’ve had all week. Just beautiful, and no humidity. Air is off and windows are open, sky is blue. As it should be. No new exciting vegetable analogies to report; this week I’m told to imagine four navel oranges knocking around in there. The fatigue has crept back and I’m finding myself craving…
I’m no good at being social anymore. Last night I went to a cookout and struggled with my own crushing awkwardness all night, unsure of what to talk about with the people I have known for a long time. Maybe it’s the sobriety but I feel like a fucking drag, like my presence is too heavy and kind of rude to bring into what’s supposed to be an atmosphere with levity. The other night I…
You must be logged in to post a comment.