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Tag: comedy
comedy
Sometimes I have thoughts I think I must have stolen from Mitch Hedberg
Such as: Why do soap dishes get dirty?
friends pregnancy
My doula Nick solves problems
Me: my mom is wanting me to have a baby shower in my hometown, and she wants to invite some childhood friends i haven’t seen in 10+ years Nick: nice that’ll be fun for you here’s a plan invite them all of them shove a water balloon up between your legs bust it right when you walk in be all like. oh no my water broke leave your good Me: yes, i’m sure that will…
comedy holidays
Party people
Me: What are we doing tonight? Boyfriend: Partying hard…ying. Me: Where? Boyfriend: … Applebees.
relationships the manfriend
A play about the world’s funniest girlfriend
Boyfriend: [leaving the study-oasis couch stacked with books and index cards and hot-pink page tabs and legal paper to come into the office where girlfriend is on computer] I’m going to draw a pink heart on you. [takes back of girlfriend’s hand and draws small heart with highlighter] Girlfriend: Okay. [waits as boyfriend fills in the outline of the heart] Ha! [flips hand over] It looks like balls! [flips hand] Heart! [flips hand] Balls! Hahaha!…
the manfriend video games
Sim men are not easily impressed
I spent the ENTIRE day in pajamas, playing the Sims 3. I did this in solidarity with the bf, who, because he’s anticipating his first final of the semester tomorrow, spent the ENTIRE day cramming. In pajamas. He took some breaks from studying to come check on me and laugh at my virtual versions of us as we danced awkwardly, argued with strangers unprovoked, and were unable to get it on anywhere except the bed.…
comedy relationships the manfriend
Romance ain’t dead
Manfred, via text message: You’re all I think about unless I have to pee. Then I think about that.
comedy
Adult Easter eggs
I began cleaning out/reorganizing the office tonight and came upon this grocery list in an old still-packed box practically untouched from the move. I have no recollection of compiling this list, or hooting as anyone else compiled it. I have my suspicions about who wrote it based on the flavor of humor and the handwriting, but I still really have no idea. Which makes it that much funnier.
comedy work
The way I figure it…
… you can go damn near anywhere you please as long as you strut as hard as this fellow is strutting. (Cue “Strut That Ass” remix.)
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