Oh happy day, I actually had a really good weekend. I know that this in no way has any bearing on how the remainder of my week will play out, nor does it indicate that the Universe is going to take it easy on me or anyone else for a while (the Universe don’t roll like that, y’all), but I still would like to recount the ways the past few days have not pissed me…
There is nothing in this photo that could have existed outside the vacuum that was the mid-’80s. That man on the right, the Turner patriarch, has a birthday today. I’m two hours away and can’t be there to give him hastily acquired gifts that he probably already owns, but I’m sure sending him good birthday vibes until I can get to Saltillo to give him a hug next weekend.
[for Monday, Oct. 1] My big sister turned [age withheld to protect the chronically OLD!!!] Monday. I swooped down to Hardin County to surprise her, but my mom accidentally let the surprise slip as we were ten minutes away from taking her out to lunch, but that’s okay. It was funny anyway. Let me tell you a bit about my sister. She’s possibly the most friendly person you’ll ever meet. She describes herself by saying…
[for Sunday, Aug. 26] My little brother turned 20 yesterday — 20! — and I am kind of freaking out over how much he has changed in the past five years. Last night I dug through a bottomless box of old photos in my parents’ living room, and came across picture after picture of him making the sweetest/silliest/goofiest faces, from his time spent as a little toddler cutie-pie to his pudgy, awkward adolescent period to…
[for Sunday, July 29] Kristin and Lonnie are in town for a few days to visit and go see the White Stripes tomorrow. Yesterday, we went to see the Simpsons movie (my verdict: Meh; too much Homer, not enough of the other characters, etc., but the animation was lovely on the IMAX screen) and then, afterward, when we realized Rendezvous was closed and when the Flying Fish was packed, we ducked into Automatic Slim’s for…
[for June 30] My oldest nephew turned twelve Saturday, so I took to the road and joined up with the family in time to go see a Diamond Jaxx game in Jackson — my first Jaxx game and my second minor-league game ever. We had a great time. I bought beer for my underage brother, the kids ran down to the field to get autographs, I flinched every time a foul ball was hit, and…
I know you think I’m zombie-obsessed, but I love that you love me anyway.
Dearest Fritz, he of the hibernating Manhattan Project, is having himself a birthday today. I suspect he’ll take to the streets of Manahattan with a clinky cocktail in one hand and the ass of his newest lov-ah in the other hand, and he will offer profane observations to the buzzing city, like, “Bitch, you need to put a dickey on under that sheer piece of shit!” and, “When Oprah hears about this, she is going…
Amber, making you laugh is my favorite thing in the world. My second favorite thing is laughing at your jokes. Every day I wish I lived nearer to you so we could do normal friend stuff, like have lunch or see a movie or just drink wine while sitting on my couch, which still has a you-shaped indention in it. I miss the old days, but I’d happily sacrifice them if it meant you could…
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